Aunt Karen

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to
tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came
back and one by one began to tell their stories. Ashley said, "My father's
a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat
of
the pickup when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying
and broke and made a mess." What's the moral of the story?" asked the
teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too.
But
we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but
when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story
is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen.
Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit.
She
had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of
whiskey,
a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down
so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy
troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out
of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade
broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.""Good
heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy
tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the f&*# away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking