Schumacher of the Old Peoples home

Mad Ethel fancied herself as the Mrs Schumacher of the Old Peoples
Home and loved to charge around the place in her wheelchair, taking corners
on
one wheel and cranking up even faster speeds on the corridors.
One day Ethel was speeding down a corridor when a door opened and
Kooky Clarence stepped out with his hand outstretched.
"STOP!!!" he said in a firm voice "Have you got a licence for that
vehicle?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper
and held it up for inspection. "OK" said Clarence and off down the
corridor sped Ethel.
Taking the corner near the TV Lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped
out in front of her and shouted, "STOP, Have you got proof of insurance?"
Once more Ethel dug into her handbag and flashed a Guinness beer mat
in front of him. Harold nodded and said, "Carry on ma'am".
As Ethel neared the final corridor near the front door, Craggy Craig
stepped out in front of her, butt naked and holding a sizeable
erection in his hand. Ethel shuddered to a halt.
"OH NO!" said Ethel, "Not the breathalyser AGAIN!!!"