A bit late for St Paddy's day
<FONT face=Arial>An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems...."Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot".<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:p"Incredible" he says, "there is a £20 note lodged up here."<O:P></O:P> Tentatively he eases the twenty out, and then a<O:P></O:P> £10 pound note appears"This is amazing!" exclaims the Doctor. ''What do you want me to do?"<O:P></O:P><O:p
"Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man!" shrieks the patient
The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and<O:P></O:P> another and another and another, etc....<O:P></O:P><O:p
Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.<O:P></O:P><O:p
"Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batt er. Just out of interest, How<O:P></O:P> moch was in dare den?"<O:P></O:P><O:p
The Doctor counts the pile of cash.<O:P></O:P> "£1,990 exactly
"Ah, dat'd be roit,''says the Irishman<O:P></O:P> “I knew I wasn't feeling two grand.."<O:P></O:P>
Stop the presses, email just in......
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to
spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him
the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best
toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your
toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in
church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies
on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night
at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised
myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last
four years. Once he fell
asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him
come."
