kids bill of rights

nothing a good clip over the ear can't fix.

My son came home from school one day,
A smirk was on his face.
He'd decided he was smart enough
To put me in my place.

HE SAID:
Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
That's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today:
THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS.
IT SAYS:
I don't have to clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
How to speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom FROM religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure DON'T HAVE TO PRAY.

I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Be tattooed from head to toes.

AND if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with the crime,
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.

HE SAID:

Don't you ever touch me,
This body's for MY use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
That's just more child abuse.

HE CONTINUED WITH:

Don't preach about your morals,
Like your mama did to you.
That's nothing but your mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services,
Better known as D.S.S.

MY TURN!

Well, of course, my natural instinct
Was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach a lesson,
Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A little smile crept to my face...
He was messing with a pro!

AND AWAY WE GO!

Next day I took him shopping,
At the local Good Will store,
I told him, pick out all you want!
There are shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D.,
They said they didn't care,
If I bought you K-Mart shoes,
Instead of Nike Airs.

OH! And...

I've cancelled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned,
So I'll decide what's best.

I SAID:

No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch,
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.

Just save that raging appetite,
And wait 'til dinner time.
We're having liver and onions.
It's a favorite dish of mine.

He ASKED:

Can we stop to rent a movie,
So I can watch the VCR?
Sorry, I said, I sold your TV,
For new tyres on my car.

I also rented out your room,
You can take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
just a roof above your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose the food we eat,
That allowance that you used to get
Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the PARENTS' BILL OF RIGHTS,
It's in effect today!

Hey, Hot Shot, are you crying?
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you?
....GO CALL THE D.S.S !!