The News from Scotland

Here is the news from Scotland:-

A particularly dire situation has arisen in Invercockieleekie.

The local grocer and town councillor, Angus McKnackerlacquer, has discovered that he has a slight, though troubling, apparel malfunction. He rushes home.

“Senga!” he cries. (His wife’s name is Agnes, of course). “I’ve a button missing off ma flies and I’m aboot tae attend a council meeting. Ye’ll need to sew on a new button!”

“Ah cannae!” cries Agnes. “I’m up to ma eyes in cookin’ for you and your childer. Ye’ll hafta ask Mrs McLaren next door!”

Angus reluctantly accepts that his wife is right. He walks up the path next door and, after a moment or two of explanation on the doorstep, Agnes sees him go in. There is a pause. After about five minutes Agnes becomes aware of what might reasonably be described as a contretemps. There are raised voices, followed by a loud crash and the sound of weeping and wailing.

With a rush, Angus hurtles through the front door and comes to a halt in the kitchen, breathing heavily and nursing a black eye!

“Mah Goad!” cries Agnes. “Whitever happened to ye! Did Mrs McLaren no’ sew on yer fly button!”

“Aye well, she did. That’s no’ the problem,” says Angus. “She did a beautiful wee job. Sewed it on good as gold. It was when she finished that the trouble started. Just as she bent doon to bite off the thread, her old man walked in!”

--oOo--

And here is the news from the Land of the Long White Cloud:-

Thus week in InZid ….. nothung heppened.