Funny signs

FUNNY WORK SIGNS

Sign over a gynaecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep
with a drip. Call your plumber."

Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a laundry shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no
charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be
satisfactory?"

At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and
take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car
payment."

Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill.
However, if you don't, you will be."

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get
fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

And for good measure

Japan has banned all animal movements after discovering some nibbled beds in
Tokyo.

They think it could be an outbreak of Futon Mouse.