How to keep a healthy level of insanity
1)At lunch time,sit in your parked car w/sunglasses and point a hairdryer at passing cars.See if they slow down.
2)Page yourself over the intercom.Don't disguise your voice.
3)Insist that your e-mail address is:
Xena-Warrior [email protected]
[email protected].
4)Everytime someone asks you to do something,ask if they want fries with that?
5)Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair dancing.
6)Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
7)Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8)Put decaf coffee in the coffee maker for three weeks.Once everybody has got over their caffeine addictions,switch to expresso.
9)In the memo field of all your cheques,write 'for sexual favours.'
10)Reply to everything someone says with,"That's what you think."
11)Finish all your sentences with,"In accordance with the prophecy."
12)Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area.Insist to ohers that you like it that way.
13)Dont use any punctuation.
14)As often as possible,skip rather than walk.
15)Ask people what sex they are.Laugh hysterically after they answer.
16)Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17)Sing along at the opera.
18)Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems dont rhyme.
19)Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.Wear them one day after your boss does.(This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
20)Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing.
For example,"If anyone needs me,I'll be in the bathroom,in stall #3."
21)Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
22)Five days in advance,tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23)Call 000 and ask if 000 is for emergencies.
24)Call the pyschic hotline and dont say anything.
25)Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name,Rock Hard.
26)When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won," "I won!"
27)When leacing the office,start running towards the parking lot,yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28)Tell your boss,"It's not the voices in my head that bother me,"it's the voices in your head that do."
29)Tell your children over dinner,"Due to economy,we're going to have to let one of you go."
30)Everytime you see a broom,yell "Honey your mother is here."
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Johnno
