The joys of parenthood

Things I Learned from Children
(no, not me personally, I'm only 20 - a little squidger myself)

• If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough
  to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman
  cape.
  
• It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by
  20-foot room.
  
• When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too
  late.
  
• Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
  
• A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year
  old man says they can only do it in the movies.
  
• If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does
  not leak--it explodes.
  
• A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4
  inches deep.
  
• Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
  
• Super glue is forever.
  
• McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
  
• No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk
  on water.
  
• Pool filters do not like Jello.
  
• VCR's do not eject PB&J (peanut butter and jelly, for those who need more sleep) sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
  
• Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
  
• The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5-minute response time.
  
• The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/biggrin.gif
  
• It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  
• Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/eek.gif

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Cogito cogito, cogito ergo sum
- I think that I think, therefore I think that I am

[This message has been edited by Tristan Croll (edited 13 October 2000).]