The Army (2)

American officer in a British camp during WW2, an English officer walks into the mess and announces a ripping new yarn he has heard.
I say chaps, there is a young lady in the garden of her estate and three gentlemen pass by, one is in a horseless carriage, one is one a bicycle and one is on horseback, which one is likely to make the acquaintance of the young lady........the chap on horse back because the horse manure.
The Yank is a bit bewildered and goes back to the States with this in his mind and recites the same story in the mess.
Hey Buddies, a broad is outside her apartment and three guys pass her. On is in an automobile, one is on a velocopede and one is an equestrian, which one is likely to get a date with the broad......well the answer is Horses**t and I don't get it.

Chap in the USA is called up for national service, arrives at the desk and is asked if there is any reason he cannot perform his duty for his country. He says is a conscientous objector, on what grounds says the sergeant, I'm a Quaker he replies, prove you are a quaker, I can't, we all look the same, well talk Quaker to me says the sergeant..........F**k Thee.

Another army one:
A young lady is walking beside the Georges river near Holdsworthy one day. It's a beautiful warm day, and there's no one around, so she decides to go skinny dipping. After a while, she gets out and has a sunbake. Suddenly, she hears a Landrover coming, so she grabs her clothes and hides in the bushes. A Sergeant major gets out of the rover, shouts "Camouflage squad, quick march" and every tree in the area moves out.

That's not a joke......... It's a true story.

Cheers - From the Monsteria Deliciosia