No grasshopper but a cat

A bloke walks into a theatrical agent's with a tired, scrawny looking old tom cat under his arm, and says he's got a musical cat that the agent just has to see. "Sorry mate" says the agent, there are too many animal acts around as it is." (He obviously knew some of the contributors to this BB)

The bloke with the cat pesters him so much that eventually, the agent agrees to see the act just to shut him up. He puts the cat on the keyboard of the agent's piano, and the cat is simply amazing - he plays everything - jazz, classical, popular, simply by running up and down the keyboard. Not only that, but he's an absolute virtuoso.

The agent is amazed, and agrees to book the cat for a 12 month tour of the world's capital cities. "There's only one problem," he says "the cat's a bit old and doesn't play very loudly now. But thats OK, we'll just have to orchestrate him."

The cat jumped out the window and was never seen again.