From Daly Waters Pub this morning

Two guys go hunting.

Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life.

When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream.
He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!"

Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"