Christmas cake recipe

CHRISTMAS FRUIT CAKE RECIPE

Ingredients:

1 cup water
2 cups of dried fruit
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
8 oz nuts
4 large eggs
tsp baking powder
juice of 1 lemon
1 bottle of whisky

Method:

Sample the whisky to check quality. Take a large bowl.
Check the whisky again to be sure its of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one tsp sugar and beat again. Make sure whisky is still ok.

Cry another tup. Turn off the mixerer.
Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky for tonsisticity.

Next sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat the turner. Throw the bowl out the window,
check the whisky again and go to bed.

Merry Christmas!