It's a heartache

A couple of weeks ago I developed an excruciating pain in my chest.
Now, I'm not a mean man but I object to paying a doctor $50 to tell me all I've got is heartburn so you can imagine my delight when a colleague at work, 'Eggs' Benedict, said he had an identical condition. I was able to persuade him to go to the doc's and find out the cause. Éggs' duly went for an examination and came back and reported he had heartburn. I was delighted! No major cause for concern and I'd just saved $50 !
Next day 'Eggs' failed to show up at work. Then the news filtered down that he'd passed away the previous evening. Oh heck! Off to the doc's and coughed up $50 for a consultation. Diagnosis? Heartburn. Not satisfied. Demanded an immediate chest x-ray, blood tests, the works. Total cost $200. Diagnosis? Heartburn. I was pretty p****d as you can imagine.
That night, I called 'Eggs' widow. After the usual condolences, I asked her if he'd suffered much. (I have to admit, having just coughed up $250, to a slight hope that he'd died writhing in agony).
"Oh, it was quick," she told me. "After all it was a pretty big truck that hit him."

Pete