Order in court!

Michael was in court, on trial for a double murder and the judge said, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "Mick! You’re nothing but a gob####e and a bastard!"

The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a spanner."

Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You miserable rotten f@*ing bastard!!!"

The judge stopped, looked at the man at the back of the courtroom and said,

"Patrick O’Hennessy, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall have you arrested and charged with contempt! Anyway, why are you getting so upset? What is the problem?"

Paddy, at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that miserable, rotten, gob####ing bastard. And every time I asked to borrow a f@*ing spanner, he said he didn't have one!"