Lexophilia

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!


• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.


• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.


• Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .


• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.


• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.


• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.


• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

• When chemists die, they barium.

• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.


• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.


• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?


• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

• Broken pencils are pointless.


• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.


• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


• All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.


• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.


• Velcro - what a rip off!


• Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last.

Oldies but goodies

Some good ones in that lot.

Alan...