Aussie Bush Etiquette

Aussie Bush Etiquette is recognized throughout the civilized world; but we all need to be reminded from time to time.

In General:

1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview...

2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.

3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.

Eating Out:

1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

Entertaining at Home:

1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist..

2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.

Personal Hygiene:

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys.

2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.

3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.

4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods,
and if you are a woman, it can draw attention away from your jewellery.

Theatre/Cinema Etiquette: ;

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.

2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

Weddings:

1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.

3. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

Driving Etiquette:

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.

2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

Good one Kryn. In relation to rule #1, I was working at this place and a fellow I'd previously worked with came in looking for a job, he asked me if I'd put in a good word for him with the boss, which I agreed to do. After his job interview, and he'd left, the boss came over for the character reference (I thought) and asked "does your old mate always come to a job interview drunk?" Needless to say he wasn't hired.

He might have been drunk, but did he take an open stubby????:D

Cripes no Kryn he wasn't THAT rude.

I recommended an old mate for a job at a tertiary institution and he turned up in the morning smelling of wine.
He didnt get the job.
It was bloody embarrassing for myself and the bloke he would have been working with who knew him from way back also.
How to shoot yourself in the foot.
Had another where the bloke couldn’t help telling the boss how to do the job.
As soon as I retired he got the heave, the boss couldn’t stand him and although they needed a worker I was the go between to get stuff done.
Sure has slowed me up about recommending people now.
H.