The Pope Plays Golf

The Pope Plays Golf


The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.


"Your Holiness", said one of his Cardinals, "Mr Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."


The Pope thought this was a good idea but he had never held a golf club in his hands. "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?" he asked.


"None who plays very well," a Cardinal replied. "But, there's a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a Cardinal. Then ask him to play Mr. Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition, to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."


Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play.


The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. "I have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness, " said Nicklaus.


"Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope.


"Well, your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous."


"There's bad news?" asked the Pope.


"Yes, I lost by three strokes to Rabbi Tiger Woods."

Brilliant.

The Pope, an Iman and a Deacon decide to go fishing.
They get in the boat, motor out to a spot that the Pope knows well,
A short time later the Pope decides he has to empty his Bladder, excusing himself,
gets out of the boat and walks about 50m to where there are some bushes,
relieves himself and walks back to the boat.
A short time later the Deacon excuses himself, for the same reason,
and walks to where the Pope went and relieves himself,
and then walks back.
The Iman, not to be outdone, decides he needs to go also,
steps off the bow and splash, over his head in water!!!!!!
The Deacon says to the Pope, do you think we should have told him about the reef that we walked on????