For Pun Lovers

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READs:
We will heel you
We will save your
We will even dye for you.

A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
“Blind man driving.”

IN A PODIATRISTS OFFICE:
"Time wounds all heels.”

ON A SEPTIC TANK TRUCK:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

AT AN OPTOMETRISTS OFFICE:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”

ON A PLUMBERS TRUCK:
"We repair what your husband fixed.”

ON ANOTHER PLUMBERS TRUCK:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

AT A TYRE SHOP IN MILWAUKEE:
"Invite us to your next blowout.”


ON AN ELECTRICIAN'S TRUCK:
"Let us remove your shorts.”

IN A NON SMOKING AREA:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”


ON A MATERNITY ROOM DOOR:
"Push. Push. Push.”


AT A CAR DEALERSHIP:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”


OUTSIDE A MUFFLER SHOP:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”


AT THE ELECTRICITY COMPANY:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”


IN A RESTAURANT WINDOW:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”


IN THE FRONT YARD OF A FUNERAL HOME:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”


AT A PROPANE FILLING STATION:
"Thank Heaven for little grills.”


IN A RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak.”


And the best one for last…;

SIGN ON THE BACK OF ANOTHER SEPTIC TANK TRUCK:
“Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”

I think that's enough punishment for one day.....

Liked the sign that used to be at the entrance to Bolivar sewage treatment works outside of Adelaide - "It may be your crap, but it's our bread and butter".

Some guy was throwing out his old sofa and a couple of armchairs today, and as I was walking past he asked me if I wanted it.
"No thanks mate" I replied, "My mum always told me never to accept suites from strangers."

Many years ago there was a hire place on newbridge road chipping norton, sydney. He used to put up funny things for us poor commuters to read.

One day it said:

A bachelor is a man who hasn't made the same mistake once...

Still makes me laugh all these decades later...

SIGN ON THE BACK OF ANOTHER SEPTIC TANK TRUCK:
"Satisfaction guaranteed or 200% returned"

Back in the 70's in Perth, there was a sign on the entrance to the Wanneroo Lion Park " Poms on pushbikes admitted free"

Why do lions lick another lions butt???

They just ate the Pom on a bicycle, and are trying to get the bad taste out of their mouths:D