Here today, gone forever

Been around before ,still worth a smile.:wink:

The Best Divorce Letter,ever !

FIRST LETTER:

My Dear husband:
I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it, and
the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw.Last week, you came home
& you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new nightie.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Wife.
Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to New Zealand together!

Have a great life!
REPLY- Dear Ex-wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry
from what you've been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching.Too bad that doesn't work
any more. I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!'
Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment......
and when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years.
About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $299.99 price tag was still on it, & I prayed it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto, on Saturday, I left my job &
bought 2 tickets for us to Paris , but when I got home you were gone.Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.