Laws to ponder :

1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.


2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.


3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.


5.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.


6.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.


7.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


8.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!


9.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


10.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.


11.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


12.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


13.Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.


14.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.


15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.


16.Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!


17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!


18.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

I have to take exception to number 5 as applied to commuting.

As a commuter, you drive the same route twice a day. The laws of probability apply to your commute. As you commute you learn, both willingly and unwillingly, where the bottle necks occur. You also become aware of which lanes probably will stagnate. The trick is to change lanes to a lane that statistically have an improved traffic flow previous experience.

You know that when two limited access highways meet, there will be congestion. Be in the lane that statistically will have the least congestion.

You know that when a vehicle enters a limited access highway the driver can not remain in the "Slow" lane and will immediately attempt to change lanes into the "Fast" lane.

As you drive, you will discover that there are only 4 types of drivers.

The user - During congestion, this driver will use almost every MM of space to the vehicle in front.

The keeper - Someone told this person that they must keep space between their vehicle and the one in front, H*** or High Water.

The taker - This driver changes lanes faster than anyone while attempting to gain that extra 10 CM of space. The taker can provide entertainment in traffic if you apply the above about strategic lane changing.

The star gazer or aimless wanderer - This one is very difficult to describe but you know them when you see them. It is very difficult restrain yourself from knocking on the drivers window at a stop light and asking, "What are you aiming at?" Why do you want to know? Because you want to be some place else.

All I know is, don't get behind me in a queue - any other queue will be faster than the one I am standing in. I have proved this numerous times, I get in a queue with 1 person ahead of me, they then decide to yak to a friend on the phone instead of paying, decide to pay in 5 and 10 cent pieces or some other bizarre behaviour - a friend in another queue with half a dozen people in front of them will be through and wandering around waiting for me. Changing queues doesn't work either, someone in the new queue with have a brain phart once I am in it.

Law of repair and gravity. Your hands will be greasy when you drop a part that will then require a partial dismantle of what you are working on. Alternatively you spend a good 10 minutes for missing part before finding it or replacing it.

Rule 12 briefly mentions the term 'Murphys law' which is a rule that you learn very quickly in the building or construction game. Murphys law, to me, loosely translates to 'If it can it will'.

Example 1). If the extension lead were to come into contact with that stick (mind you, its the only stick around for 20,000km2) it will become tangled. So of course it finds a way to find a way. It always finds a way.

Example 2) Need to dig 1 small hole to mount a clothesline as the last job before a 2 month holiday. So obviously during he digging process, I manage to sever the gas, power, water and optic fibre all within 1 little hole. $20,000 damage.

To me, those 2 fictional examples sum up what it's like to try and co exist with THE LAW. You'll never beat it. it can lay low for a while but then, all of a sudden "poof" Its back to show you who's boss.

Welcome ozka. Why would you be digging a hole in the front yard for the clothesline????? I had to dig a hole in the front yard to bury one of SWMBO's pet guinea pigs, put the crowbar straight through the Telstra line to the house and next doors. It was about 400 mm inside our boundary!!!!!
Kryn

My wife "inherited" a large palm tree from a friend and asked me to dig a large hole to accommodate the roots.
In the process I managed to drive the crowbar through the underground power line. Fortunately, the blade was turned parallel to the cable direction and passed harmlessly between the positive and negative wires. As per normal.

That almost gave me a heart attack sitting here reading it.