Politically Correct Holiday Greetings

To all my politically correct friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the
religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with
respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular
traditions at all;

PLUS

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted
calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of
choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped
make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater
than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western
hemisphere), and without regard to race, creed, color, age, physical
ability, religious faith, or choice of computer platform.

(Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these
terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is
freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It
implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the
wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by
law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish
is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of
good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any
unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not
caught up in the holiday spirit.)

To all my other friends:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.