Something to think about.....maybe

:pYou haven't had enough coffee until you can
thread a sewing machine while it's running.

:pYou cannot stop the ongoing love affair
between pasta sauce and your clothing.

:pAn antique is something your grandmother bought, your mother
threw out, and you are now buying back.

:pI want one of those jobs where people ask,
"Do you actually get paid to do this?"

:pMen say that women should come with instructions,
but have you ever seen a man read instructions?

:pI did a push-up today. Well, actually I fell down and had to use
my arms to get back up ... so close enough. Now I need chocolate!

:pWhen a habit begins to cost money, it is called a hobby.

:pI choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think
was "I bet a donut wouldn't have done this to me."