I made my girlfriend's dreams come true and married her in a castle. You wouldn’t have thought it though from the miserable look on her face as we were bouncing around!
After seducing Kylie Minogue yesterday I think there are 2 things you all need to know.She really is as sexy as hell and secondly the staff at Madam Tussauds are miserable bastards with no sense of humour!!
A man thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him.
My friend was doing some roofing work for Murphy He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says: "I think I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks: "Ave yer got vertigo?"
My friend replies: "No I only live round the corner.
After 100 years lying on the sea bed, the divers were amazed to find that the Titanic's swimming pool was still full.
