Another lot of quick ones

It's late, late, late on a foggy, foggy night,and there's a knock on the door.
The wife said,"Don't sit there like a beached whale. Go see who it is"
The grumbling husband opened the door and there in the shadows,
surrounded by swirling mists, was a terrifying figure in a black cloak.
"Who are you?" the husband whispered.
"Jack the Ripper"
The husband turned his head and shouted,
"Darling, it's for you"

A woman decided she wanted a divorce and consulted a solicitor.
"Do you have any grounds?"
"Yes, about 4 acres"
"Do you have a grudge?"
"No, but we have a lovely carport"
"Does he beat you up?"
"No, I'm up first every morning"
"Then why do you want a divorce?"
"Because he can't carry on an intelligent conversation."

Quick! I can hear my husband coming. He's a policeman and he's twice as big as you.
"Where's the back door?"
We don't have one.
"Okay, where would you like one?"
Kryn