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When eighty-four-year-old William fell in love with his eighty-three-year-old
neighbour Phyllis, he thought his heart would burst with joy. However, little
did he know that it was another part of his body that would give way first.
Getting down on his knees to propose to Phyllis, he told her that he wanted
to ask her two questions. Firstly, would she marry him?
"Oh yes," she replied. "But what's your second question?"
"Will you help me up?"
If she can't help him up she may have to "put him down".
That's a bit sick. :D
Allan
Mountain Joe finds it lonely up there by himself, so hitches the horse up to the wagon and goes down to the lowlands and finds a lovely lass, whom he dutifully marries. On the way back up the mountain the horse stumbles, Joe mutters "thats once". Bit further on the horse stumbles again, Joe mutters "thats twice. Bit further on the horse stumbles again. Joe gets the rifle from under the seat and shoots the horse. New wife says "why?" Joe mumbles "thats once"........