> As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,
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> I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's anymore.
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> .. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
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> .. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
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> .. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while
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> .. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
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> And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.
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> Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
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> 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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> 2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
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> 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
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> 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
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> 5. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
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> 6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
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> 7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
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> 8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the lamp post.
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> 9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
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> 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
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> 11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
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> 12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
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> 13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
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> 14. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
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> 15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
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> 16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
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> 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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> 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".
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> 19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
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> 20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE............?????? I can’t remember!
