Explanation of Instructions

What it says: "Batteries not included"

What it means: "Batteries do not come with this product, and
you're going to have to buy them yourself. Moreover, it uses
unique batteries that you won't find anywhere but a
specialty store, where you'll pay twice as much for them."

_____________________________

What it says: "Some restrictions apply"

What it means: "Somehow, some way, we'll find a way to
exclude you."

_____________________________

What it says: "May cause drowsiness"

What it means: "Expect a sudden bout with narcolepsy while
you're driving to work."

_____________________________

What it says: "Some assembly required"

What it means: "Take the day off and borrow your neighbor's
2,000-piece tool kit. Don't make any other plans for the
day."

----------- Today's saying or thought ---------------------

Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are
the main reason I have trust issues.