Essential Additions To The Workplace Vocabulary

ESSENTIAL ADDITIONS TO THE WORKPLACE VOCABULARY


"Essential Additions For The Workplace Vocabulary"

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly
in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see
what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line answer to the couch potato.

SITCOM: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops
working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out
and whiny.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying
but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trial
was a prime example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony was another.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere
are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems
they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message "404 Not Found", meaning that the requested document
could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly
the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints,
strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks