More on Cricket. Warning: A little rude

Rod Marsh & Ian Botham:
1. When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the
wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been
waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you
spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

3. Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes:
After Brandes played & missed at a McGrath delivery, the Aussie bowler
politely enquired: "Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?" "Cos every time I
****** your wife she gives me a biscuit," Brandes replied.

4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:
During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played &
missed: "You can't f**king bat".
Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary:
"Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king
bowl."

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad:
During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A
few balls latter Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called
out as he ran past the departing batsman.

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:
During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to
Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my
island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just
bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to
the
batsman: "In my culture we just say ****** *ff."

7. Ricky Ponting & Shaun Pollock:
After going past the outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock
told Ponting: "It's red, round & weighs about 5 ounces." Unfortunately
for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground..

Ponting to Pollock: "you know what it looks like, now go find it."

8. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary
comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna
Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one
dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight,
unfit, fat ****!!!"

9. Can't remember the player or the exact details but went something
like Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player to the crease
playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a
couple years ago in Australia. You were ***** then, you're f**king
useless now". Kiwi - (Turning
around)
"Yeah, that's me & when I was there you
were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married
her. You dumb ****".

Hah, love it!

They were talking on the radio about how to make golf more interesting. Personally I think all they have to do is get everyone on the fairway at the same time, put three pins in a row behind one of the players and get someone to throw the ball at him.

Anyway, one of the ideas was to put a radio microphone on each player like they do in some of the charity games so you can hear the banter between the players and the caddies etc.

Can you imagine if they did that in cricket? :eek:

I was wired for sound at my wedding and we were being followed around by a video camera while photos were being taken. At one point I said to my groomsman John "John, you've got to help me, how can I get out of this". He replied "don't worry, I've charted a plane". Went over a treat on the wedding video.