Quiz Shows

Here's some extract from mainly UK quiz shows although ABC 774 Melbourne gets a mention too:

The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.

Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er... Mexico?

Family Fortunes, ITV

1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the Capital of France? F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
7) What is Hitlers first name ? Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
9) Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race ? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath ? Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair
14) A famous Royal ? Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings
16) A famous bridge ? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does ? Goes to the Toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom ? Decorate
19) A method of securing your home ? Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs ? The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac ? April
22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
24) Something you put on walls ? A roof
25) Something Slippery ? A conman
26) A kind of ache ? A fillet of fish
27) A Jacket Potato topping ? Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white ? A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
30) Something Red? My sweater


The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774

Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin?
Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.

Lincs FM phone-in

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.


Steve Wright Show, Radio 2

Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Expresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC

Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four.

Simon, loved the Family Fortunes bit, Naomi Campbell; and the Arabs. ROTFL.

Sean

Yes, Private Eye magazine has a regular column of these called
"Dumb Britain"

It always amuses me. :)