now I am older

And, now that I've grown older (but have I grown up?), here's what I've found:

ONE
I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.

TWO
My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

THREE
I finally got my head together. But now my body is falling apart.

FOUR
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

FIVE
I spend a lot of time now thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm there after.

SIX
If all is not lost, where is it?

SEVEN
It was easier to get older than it was to get wiser.

EIGHT
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

NINE
When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

TEN
Some days you're the dog. Some days you're the hydrant.

ELEVEN
I don't remember ever being absent minded.

TWELVE
I can’t remember whether or not I’ve already E-mailed this to you.