I LOVE SYDNEY BECAUSE:
* You can make over $100,000 per year and still can't afford a house.
* You never bother looking at the train timetable because you know the drivers have never seen it either.
* You order organic fruit and vegetables online, but eat take aways every night anyway.
* You spend more money on your coffee machine than on your washing machine.
* You spend $400+ per week for your room in an flat with stunning harbour and beach views and European appliances; and spend a total of forty hours a week there, of which thirty-seven are spent sleeping.
* You contemplate calling a taxi from your home to where you managed to find a parking spot for your car the night before.
* You spend thirty minutes in a traffic jam next to a car that has more power going to its speakers than its wheels.
* You know everyone's e-mail and mobile number but not their last name or home address.
* Your taxi driver was a micro-surgeon before he migrated to Australia.
* Your co-worker tells you he/she has eight body piercings but none are visible.
* You can't remember... is dope illegal?
* You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
* You have a very strong opinion on where your coffee beans are grown, and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
* A really great parking space can move you to tears.
* You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between pilates, conversational Italian or building your own website.
* A man in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps gets on the bus and you don't notice.
* You are genuinely surprised when you meet someone who was actually born in Sydney.
* Your hairdresser is straight; your plumber is gay, and your Avon lady is a drag queen.
