Raising Boys

[fred.n]

As I have no kids running around (and that might be a good thing
after reading this:) :D
I found this HIGHLY amusing:p :p :p :p :eek: :eek:
For those that do????? WELL:confused: :confused: :(
You will no doubt be able to relate to this:confused: :confused: GOD help ya:) :p :D


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<O:p</O:p

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!<O:p</O:p

b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.<O:p</O:p

c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.<O:p</O:p

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.<O:p</O:p

e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.<O:p</O:p

<O:p</O:p

The following came from an anonymous Mother in ffice:<ST1:p<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:p<O:p</O:p

<O:p</O:p

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding)<O:p</O:p

<O:p</O:p

1) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.house 4 inches deep.<O:p</O:p

2) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.<O:p</O:p

3) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.<O:p</O:p

4) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.<O:p</O:p

5) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.<O:p</O:p

6) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.<O:p</O:p

7) Do Not Touch means TOUCH lightly.<O:p</O:p

8) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.<O:p</O:p

9) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
<O:p</O:p
10) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.<O:p</O:p

11) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.<O:p</O:p

12) Super glue is forever.<O:p</O:p

13) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.<O:p</O:p

14) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.<O:p</O:p

15) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.<O:p</O:p

16) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.<O:p</O:p

17) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.<O:p</O:p

18) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.<O:p</O:p

19) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.<O:p</O:p

20) The fire department in <ST1:place <st1:City>Austin</st1:City>, </ST1:p has a 5-minute response time.<O:p</O:p

21) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.<O:p</O:p

22) It will, however, make cats dizzy.<O:p</O:p

23) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.<O:p</O:p

24) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.<O:p</O:p

25) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids<O:p</O:p


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[ss_11000]

thats not write....i cant remember the majority of those things listed ( some good ideas though:D ;) )

[echnidna]

Why shouldn't boys hava bitta fun? :D

[Schtoo]

I just made category D.

I know I will be seeing a lot of these, suggesting others and inventing new ones.

(No, I never grew up :D )

[CameronPotter]

Point 24 is definitely correct... I was seriously thinking, gotta try that. But first I need to figure out what Clorox is...

[jmk89]

I think there is a point 26 - whenever you think that there is nothing worse that he can do is when he finds out something you would never have imagined (Paint poured into a room airconditioner gives and unusual effect)

[fred.n]

Point 24 is definitely correct... I was seriously thinking, gotta try that. But first I need to figure out what Clorox is...

Fair call Cam:) :) I like alot of others reading this want to know what
Clorox:confused: :confused: is...........(does anyone out there know??)

And yes I will also be trying it to see if it works....you just HAVE to
don't ya??:D :D :D

[CameronPotter]

And yes I will also be trying it to see if it works....you just HAVE to
don't ya??:D :D :D

Especially given your signature line!! :D

[Exador]

Fair call Cam:) :) I like alot of others reading this want to know what
Clorox:confused: :confused: is...........(does anyone out there know??)

And yes I will also be trying it to see if it works....you just HAVE to
don't ya??:D :D :D

I assume it's pool chlorine. The sodium hypochlorite and brake fluid bomb was a favourite as a kid. My only recommendation is that you should add the fluid to the chlorine, rather than the other way around and don't do it at all if you're not a fast runner :D.

The glycerine and Condy's crystals incendiary was another one that got a fair old work out as a kid, and we tried the condy's crystals and peroxide mix that is used to power Russian torpedoes (and is believed to have caused the Kursk disaster) as well. Touch powder (ammonium iodide) was a perennial favourite. The trick was to place some of the damp product into a small container, place said container in a bin at uni and wait... Before long it would be dry and the first person to throw something substantial in the bin was rewarded with a loud BANG and would have his rubbish (and all the rest of the bin's load) (r)ejected by the bin:D. Not popular with the Vice-Chancellor, sadly.

The highlight of my career as a terrorist-in-training was the manufacture of some acetone peroxide whaen I was too stupid to realise how dangerous it is. That stuff is a primary explosive and almost any shock is enough to set it off :eek:. Having grown very attached to all my bits, I haven't had anything to do with making loud bangs for many years.

[Iain]

When I was in my mid teens we used to get 35mm film containers and almost fill them with a 50/50 by volume mixture of red lead and aluminium powder, top with a layer of knm04 (Potassium Permanganate/Condys Crystals) a drop of glycerine, screw on top and run like hell, was an impressive bang and we wiped out a few sargent ant colonies in the WA bush.
On one occassion we came accross some gelignite and detonators, I am told that the bushland behind the golf course in Kalamunda still bears a few scars......