I Dare you

[John Saxton]

All you guys with womenfolk I dare you to show her the following as was quoted to me by my sister-inlaw;

Mammograms

Many women are afraid of their first mammograms,but there is no need to worry.By taking few minutes each day for a week preceeding the examination.
And doing the following practice exercises,you will be totally prepared for the test,and best of all you can do these simple practices right in your own home.

Exercise No 1

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box.Have one of your strongest friends slam the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

Exercise No 2

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect.
Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tyre of the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

Exercise 3

Freeze two metal bookends overnight.Strip to the waist.Invite a stranger into the room.
Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.
Set an appointment for the stranger to repeat the exercise again next year.

You are now totally prepared.

Just one more thought for the women out there: MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
Ever notice how all the the women's problems start with MEN?
And when we have real trouble,it's a HISterectomy!

end of quote

Imagine what we guys would have to go thru if testicular examination went thru a similar process......ouch Oh bloody hell!!!

Just some considerations on life without the express input of the 'Marquis de Sade'

Cheers http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/smile.gif

[Iain]

The latter part of your input reminded me of my hang gliding days some thirty years ago, standing atop Jan Juc, a popular beach in Vic with high cliffs, I was standing on the edge and allowed the wings to fill with the updraft and carry me skyward. As the beast started to lift I found that my harness had crossed over and was crushing a more tender part of my anotomy.
I was told by onlookers that my flight from the top of the cliff to the beach took something like ten seconds with a lot of screaming on the way down, I was sure that it took considerably longer and I thought the ground was never coming to greet me and take the pressure off that harness.

[Gino]

looks like someone forgot to do some last minute adjustments.
Once when I was a teenager I was changing a light globe and standing on the corner of the table and then I SLIPPED. If I remember correctly, I cried that day.

[Iain]

Or the broken chain when pedalling uphill.

[RETIRED]

OR balancing on that single rail fence and slipping then straddling the rail.

Makes you wonder how any of us males became fathers. http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/biggrin.gif

------------------
Ian () Robertson
"We do good turns every day"

[Iain]

We may have done better if we hadn't had the misfortunes ??????
I look at this post and a tear comes to my eye and it's not bloody nostalgia http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/frown.gif