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Driver
6th December 2005, 06:19 PM
I nearly posted this in the Woodies Jokes forum. Then I realised that it may be amusing but it's not a joke. What do you blokes think?

Method:
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!

Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, and then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Observation:
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

Why not?

Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

Conclusion:
That, my friends, is how company policy is framed and implemented.

craigb
6th December 2005, 06:37 PM
That, my friends, is how company policy is framed and implemented.

I thought you were talking about the BB. :o :o

channa
6th December 2005, 06:39 PM
I thought you were talking about the BB. :o :o

Snap. I was thinking we need to get some of that cold water!

Driver
6th December 2005, 06:40 PM
I thought you were talking about the BB. :o :o
The thought never crossed my mind! :rolleyes:

After all, our monkey doesn't bother even looking at the ladder - never mind the banana. He's too busy picking his nose and calling us all purse-carrying nancy boys.

Cliff Rogers
6th December 2005, 08:19 PM
.. too busy picking his nose ....

I tried to pick you a greenie but the other monkeys attacked me & said I had to share it around. :rolleyes:

Driver
6th December 2005, 08:22 PM
I tried to pick you a greenie but the other monkeys attacked me & said I had to share it around. :rolleyes:

:rolleyes: Tell 'em there a bunch of purse-carrying nancy boys!

Wongo
6th December 2005, 09:47 PM
Great story.

echnidna
6th December 2005, 09:50 PM
That's the way the govenment makes policies.:p

Eastie
6th December 2005, 10:36 PM
And that's why none of my electrical apprentices work live - if they try they 'd be killed sooner by their supervisor....

Cliff Rogers
7th December 2005, 12:05 AM
And that's why none of my electrical apprentices work live - if they try they 'd be killed sooner by their supervisor....

Oooo you are an 'ard 'earted man Mr. Bumble. :D

A qoute that is stuck in my head ( along with several others) after seeing 'Oliver' 10 times in the last 17 days. :rolleyes:

Daddles
7th December 2005, 12:13 AM
EEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Richard

Cliff Rogers
7th December 2005, 12:33 AM
EEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Richard

Don't remember that bit....:confused: is it when Mr. Bumble steps on Mrs. Corney's cat? :cool:

silentC
7th December 2005, 08:24 AM
seeing 'Oliver' 10 times in the last 17 days
A dare? A lost bet? Cruel and unusual punishment?

bennylaird
7th December 2005, 08:31 AM
Sounds like a technical problem, try and find the "Repeat" button on the DVD and turn it off.

unless you keep saying, "Please Sir, can I have some more?"

Wood Borer
7th December 2005, 08:36 AM
Oooo you are an 'ard 'earthed man :

Would explain the electrical related shocks Cliff.:D

Harry72
7th December 2005, 09:44 AM
Is that where the saying "Monkey will do as monkey see's" comes from?

But if the cage was full of Bart Simpsons and the banana was a live power wire... Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch Bzzz ouch

Cliff Rogers
7th December 2005, 10:15 AM
A dare? A lost bet? Cruel and unusual punishment?

Crew... I was driving a follow spot.

silentC
7th December 2005, 11:08 AM
A man of many talents!

Christopha
7th December 2005, 12:05 PM
Crew... I was driving a follow spot.

And you WEREN'T tempted to attach the spot to a sniper style weapon?????? Strange!

Cliff Rogers
7th December 2005, 12:15 PM
And you WEREN'T tempted to attach the spot to a sniper style weapon?????? Strange!

Nope, it was all good fun... but I have most of their lines stuck in my head now.