What has your kid said?

[Gingermick]

On a lighter note, .. the other day I was getting breakfast ready and took a tub of yoghurt out of the fridge. I then told my 3yr old that I was going to have a Winnie the Pooh yoghurt on my breakfast.
"Pooh yoghurt?" he said with disdainful and incredulous voice. "errr"
:)

[Wongo]

Jasmin started talking a couple of years ago. We were in a shopping centre and she was sitting in the stroller. She pointed her finger towards a lady in front of us and said “Big girl, big girl”:eek:

Oops, we just turned around and ran.:o

[rick_rine]

My friends children were behind a man at the checkout who only had one arm . They said in a loud voice " at least we can clap " and started to clap very loudly . The bloke took it well and just smiled at them .

[boban]

My nephew calls the Fat controller from Thomas the tank engine, the "F**K Controller" I call someone else I know the same thing now.

No one wants to correct him just yet.

Problem is I think he picked up the language from my BIL.

[Rusty]

My three have come out with some pearlers, but the one that sticks with me is the first...and it says a bit about childhood language aquisition and all..

When my eldest boy was perhaps a year old we were all having a Sunday morning sleep-in together. I was watching mother and son as they snuggled tenderly, still sharing the deep spiritual bond of early childhood.

My wife put her arms around our son and he rolled towards her with eyes full of innocent love.. then he wrinkled his tiny nose in horror and squawked: "Awh! Mummy poo eat!"

Rusty.

[Chesand]

My 3 yr old grand-daughter recently asked her mother for 'kangaroos with milk on them like grand-dad has' for breakfast.

After a while my daughter-in-law realised she meant Skippy cornflakes

[shrek]

3 kids - hundreds of embarrassing moments
The 2 that come to mind.
while filling up with petrol at the local servo, number 1 son leans out the window and points at the gentleman at the pump next to mine (Who happened to be a member of the Sikh religion) Top of his voice "Look Dad. There's a genie". Luckily the gentleman concerned took it well and just laughed.

While in line at the checkout Number 2 son, referring to the lady in front of us, "gee dad that lady has a big bum". She didn't take it so well.

[DavidG]

Child repeatedly calling out in supermarket "I want a bucket".
Problem - Child had not yet mastered the 'B' sound and it came out as the 'F' sound.......:eek: :o

[jshaw]

My 8 month little fella has only mastered two words so far. In the morning when I go to get him up and dressed he greets me with "daddaddaddaddad" which picks me up no end for the day. However, he also substitutes it for other things. He called the missus's boob "dad" yesterday during a feed. She was not impressed. His other one is "cat", for fairly obvious reasons. Might soon be "cat with interestingly long tail and sharp claws". Cat has been very tolerant so far but got his tail pulled just once too often yesterday, cracked it and gave him a bit of a scratch. We're waiting for the UN peacekeepers to arrive...

[AlexS]

When daughter had just started pre-school, we had a visiting colleague staying for a couple of days. At dinner, she proudly announced "We've got head lice."

[Driver]

Two stories:-

A long time ago, when my daughter was about three, we were all in the family car: me and my wife in the front and both kids in the back, suitably strapped into their safety capsules/seats.

Some nong carved me up at a junction. This all happened at very low speed so no real drama. I said something like: "Look at that idiot!". Miss Three pipes up from the rear: "Call him an arso, Dad!" I suddenly found myself transfixed by a death ray emanating from the front passenger seat.

My brother was in the car with his two when they were little. They were driving through the countryside. My brother was keeping the kids amused (he thought) by pointing out items of interest.

My brother: "Look, kids, there's a field full of cows."
3-year old: "What did he say, Kate?"
Kate (5 years old): "He's seen some more cows."

[silentC]

They always pick up on the wrong words. I was driving home from the building site yesterday and this punk cut me off at a Tee intersection. He had his window down, as did I, so it was a perfect opportunity for some verbal bandiage as we passed. So I yelled out at him "You WANKER". All the way home, Rory (4), who is currently obsessed with labels, wanted to know what was a wanker and why was that guy a wanker and on and on.

[Wongo]

While having dinner, Jasmin says “fly lice fly lice”.

“Jasmin, eat your dinner and stop talking like daddy.”

“But mum, my head is itchy.”

OK I made this one up.:D

[Wood Butcher]

I was with my sister and my 4yr old niece waiting in line at the supermarket. There was a very large woman in front of us paying for her goods. Suddenly the register started beping because of a fault with her credit card. My niece piped up and said, "Watch out mum she's backing up!!"

My sister went bright red with shame, nut I couldn't help laughing my head off. The lady in front fortunately saw the funny side of it too!!:D:D

[Termite]

While having dinner, Jasmin says “fly lice fly lice”.

“Jasmin, eat your dinner and stop talking like daddy.”
http://www.ubeaut.biz/laughing.gif http://www.ubeaut.biz/laughing.gif http://www.ubeaut.biz/laughing.gif http://www.ubeaut.biz/laughing.gif http://www.ubeaut.biz/laughing.gif http://www.ubeaut.biz/laughing.gif

[namtrak]

When Lily was 2 and a half she strutted up to me in the kitchen (I was making dinner) and defiantly pointed up at me and demanded "Where is my fu##en dinner!!" Both SWMBO and I wet our pants.

When Paris was about 5 we were in seeing the very very rotund doctor, and as he turned around to type something into his computer, Paris declared "That's Fat Bastard" - referring to the character out of Austen Powers. The intern sitting in with us almost fell off his chair, the doctor pretended not to hear (thankfully)

[Iain]

When I was an apprentice travelling to Perth on the bus a boy about 5 was giving Mum a fair bit of grief, Mum had enough and told him he was heading for a smack if he didn't behave.
Mr 5 retorted 'if you smack me I'll tell Dad you peed in the red bucket this morning'.
They got off at the next stop, Mum bright red, I have always wondered what the red bucket was since then.

[doug the slug]

When number 2 son was 5 or 6 (now 18) i was taking him to the dessert bar at sizzlers. as i worked the chocolate icecream dispenser (softserve) Simon called out "wow dad it looks just like a big poo poo coming out!!!!!

the line behind us waiting for dessert cleared away to nothinghttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gifhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gifhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif

[ele__13]

Oh dear ive been sitting here peeing myself laughing for the past 20 mins ive had the kids come read over my shoulder and doug wanting to know what forum im reading ... im just trying t o work out which of the best of our kids is the best to write about one doug can talk about his kids and chocolate ice cream or i can talk about "pretty trucks " or our now 18yr old who yelled at the top of HIS very loud voice about our extremely pretty lady being a "Mother F--ker " and the whole surgery to hear .or mum ive lost the toilet and the child concerned peed somewhere she shouldnt hence no more Rhubarb plant :( and a not so happy mum .. was growing brilliantly ... tooo

Life makes u smile specially when u remember what the kids have done over the years its good cheers jules

[ozwinner]

Our son age 6 ( now 21) was being a pain in the bum, we wished him to have 6 kids the same as him.
He said all serious, " I would drown the first 5 ".

Al :eek: :D

[BJP]

I remember when my eldest girl was about 2 or 4, (now 21), we were all watching some easter movie and just when it got to the part where Moses parted the sea she said f#%&* hell, it slayed everyone, we tried to keep a straight face but, mission impossible :D

[Gingermick]

Middle bloke has now worked out the hierarchy or rule in our houseold.
'Dad is the big boss, mummy is a little boss because she can't start the motorbike'

[zenwood]

When #1 son was about 4, a family friend was reading him a picture book about a rabbit family getting ready for bed. Boy rabbit was in blue pyjamas, and girl rabbit was in pink. Family friend though he'd comment on this fact by asking son, "How can you tell that's the boy rabbit?" Son replies, "Because he's got a big penis!"

On another occasion, one of the boys (about 3, and not quite up to speed with his pronunciation of 's' sounds) came in from outside carrying a big stick he'd collected outside, and announced, "I've got a big, big, dick". Assembled gathering stunned into silence. Said I: "That's m' boy!"

[simplicio]

Dinner table conversation:

Six year old: ...yada yada and I told him to "lick my butt"!
Self: Son, you know you shouldn't say that...
Wife: &lt;beams approval&gt;<beams approval="">
Self: ...in Australia, we say "ar*se"!
Wife: &lt;fires up deathray&gt; <fires up="" deathray=""> <fires up="" death="" ray=""></fires></fires></beams>

[doug the slug]

4 year old daughter (now 16) had made the connection between size and age. she was telling me that she was the smallest because she was 4, simon was next biggest at 6 and Mathew at 8. she then asked me how old i was and i answered that i was 32.
how old was mum? 33.
"but daddy you are much bigger than mummy".
yes thats right, i replied.

"then mummy isnt very big for a 33 year old is she?" came the replyhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Ratbag Oz]

My two year old learnt a new word this morning (He has a vocabulary of about a dozen words, he uses actions more)
Anyway, I had rage on and he for some reason ?!? was transfixed by Jessica Simpson wiggly washing a car in a skimpy bikini (I thought I had a few years yet!) anyway, halfway through the song Jessica taught him his newest word, and for the rest of the day he has been running around the house slapping his leg and yelling Yee-hah! <_<

Ratbag