rrich
30th May 2017, 02:35 PM
This is along the lines of the 'Gen-Y's" thread.
SWMBO and I have been married 52 years in August. The marriages of both of our parents lasted into the mid their 50 years.
My parents came of age during the Great Depression, SWMBO parents a few years later.
My parents never had a dollar that they didn't try to keep. Money was paramount in their lives. They never financed anything, even a house. One of my mother's favorite expressions was, "If you have the money, go ahead and buy it." But should I follow that advice there was h*** to pay. Cash birthday and holiday gifts were always spent for clothes.
I started delivering papers at age 12. My parents took half of what I made. That first payday was a shock. They took half, and sometimes more, of everything that I earned until I moved out of the house. In addition they expected me to purchase a lot of my necessities. It wasn't that my parents needed the money to survive but rather to sock it away in a savings account. I had saved up enough to purchase a portable dishwasher. It was a gift for Mother's Day. The dishwasher was delivered while I was in school and even knowing it was a gift my Mother sent it back. When I got home from school I was yelled at and ordered to get my money back. In tears, I went to the appliance store for the refund. The owner of the appliance store refunded my money and with his arm around my shoulder told me that he was sorry. When I got home my Mother demanded the money, counted it and I never saw it again.
SWMBO was raised in a similar environment.
When SWMBO and I got married, we decided to raise our children exactly the opposite of the way that we were raised. One downside is that both the boys appreciate the better things in life. Perhaps they appreciate them too well.
It sounds harsh and perhaps sour grapes, I know.
Growing up, I was told frequently that I was "No good" or "Useless" or "Never amount to anything" or "You're worse than your (younger) brother" or "You're going to spend your life in jail" or "I don't know why we ever had you guys".
When we were raising the boys, my father would try to correct our "style" in raising the boys. My answer would always be, "No Father, we don't do it that way." That, in my opinion was the end of the discussion on the subject. Which would really irritate my Father and he wouldn't speak to me for a few hours. (Usually a good thing.)
So, how did we do?
Our children, two boys, are now in their mid forties. The youngest just got married, last month. At the reception, a parent that has known both boys since their pre high school years, told me "You have good kids." It has been awhile (15 years or so) since I've heard that but I can't remember the number of times that I have heard that from other parents.
I guess that sometimes 'Father and Mother do NOT always know best' but common sense is almost always better.
SWMBO and I have been married 52 years in August. The marriages of both of our parents lasted into the mid their 50 years.
My parents came of age during the Great Depression, SWMBO parents a few years later.
My parents never had a dollar that they didn't try to keep. Money was paramount in their lives. They never financed anything, even a house. One of my mother's favorite expressions was, "If you have the money, go ahead and buy it." But should I follow that advice there was h*** to pay. Cash birthday and holiday gifts were always spent for clothes.
I started delivering papers at age 12. My parents took half of what I made. That first payday was a shock. They took half, and sometimes more, of everything that I earned until I moved out of the house. In addition they expected me to purchase a lot of my necessities. It wasn't that my parents needed the money to survive but rather to sock it away in a savings account. I had saved up enough to purchase a portable dishwasher. It was a gift for Mother's Day. The dishwasher was delivered while I was in school and even knowing it was a gift my Mother sent it back. When I got home from school I was yelled at and ordered to get my money back. In tears, I went to the appliance store for the refund. The owner of the appliance store refunded my money and with his arm around my shoulder told me that he was sorry. When I got home my Mother demanded the money, counted it and I never saw it again.
SWMBO was raised in a similar environment.
When SWMBO and I got married, we decided to raise our children exactly the opposite of the way that we were raised. One downside is that both the boys appreciate the better things in life. Perhaps they appreciate them too well.
It sounds harsh and perhaps sour grapes, I know.
Growing up, I was told frequently that I was "No good" or "Useless" or "Never amount to anything" or "You're worse than your (younger) brother" or "You're going to spend your life in jail" or "I don't know why we ever had you guys".
When we were raising the boys, my father would try to correct our "style" in raising the boys. My answer would always be, "No Father, we don't do it that way." That, in my opinion was the end of the discussion on the subject. Which would really irritate my Father and he wouldn't speak to me for a few hours. (Usually a good thing.)
So, how did we do?
Our children, two boys, are now in their mid forties. The youngest just got married, last month. At the reception, a parent that has known both boys since their pre high school years, told me "You have good kids." It has been awhile (15 years or so) since I've heard that but I can't remember the number of times that I have heard that from other parents.
I guess that sometimes 'Father and Mother do NOT always know best' but common sense is almost always better.