The curse

[ozwinner]

Hi boys and girls.
Do you all know what a curse is??
Well sit yourselves down and uncle Al will explain.......

A curse is something some ugly person says to you, usualy just before you die..:eek:

We had this well er uhhhmmm, female in the shop today.
And because I didnt want to sell her something, a shop fitting actualy.
She put a curse on me, and the business.
You know, usual sort of curse, hope your bits drop off, hope you go broke, pox on your family, run of the mill sort of curse.

When are they going to come up with something original???

Id better go, just in case I die, or something.

Al :D

[fxst]

Al just eat some garlic drink 1 bottle op bundy rum and run counterclockwise 3 times as the cock crows and stirring a pancake mix with your left hand it is reversed. :D
but then you could always sing kumbya and hope she gets sick :p
Pete

[craigb]

Just think yourself lucky it wasn't a hex. That's something a computer nerd puts on you. :eek:

[echnidna]

Why didn't you want to sell the stuff to her Al?

[fxst]

Just think yourself lucky it wasn't a hex. That's something a computer nerd puts on you
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
easy fixed just cross SilentC's palm with binary and he fixes it

[ozwinner]

Why didn't you want to sell the stuff to her Al?Because she was a ******* **** **** ******** **** **** ******* ********.

Al :D

[beejay1]

She wasnt American as well I hope?
I thought you took people as they come. Clearly she didnt score well on the old Ozometer.
beejay

[bitingmidge]

So why didn't you sell it to her for triple what it was worth?? (Plust a small levy for packaging and handling of course>

:confused: :confused: :confused:
P

[echnidna]

Because she was a *******
Al :D

Money is money!

[ozwinner]

She wasnt American as well I hope?
I thought you took people as they come. Clearly she didnt score well on the old Ozometer.
beejayNah, she was a wanabe witch

This is the sign in the shop


Habitus Finitor Indico.

Translation
Attitude determines price.

Al :D

[ozwinner]

Money is money!
Thats not how it works Bob.
I have my pride too, which is not for sale.

Al

[outback]

Thats not how it works Bob.
I have my pride too, which is not for sale.

Al
AWW, come on Al, I'll give 2.50, for ya pride, I'd offer to buy your soul, but I reckon it went years ago. :D

[ozwinner]

Ahh soul.


Al :D

[beejay1]

some of the most intense love affairs have started with intense hatred, be careful Oz she could come back and pluck the old heart strings. Who knows where this could lead to?

[craigb]

Who knows where this could lead to?

Murder, suicide by the sounds of it :eek: :eek: :rolleyes:

[Sturdee]

.......be careful Oz she could come back .....


And if she does put this old curse on her instead : Hope your **** turn into concrete and droop down and keep hitting your kneecaps.

Heard it on the radio today and it seems appropriate. :D :D :D

Peter.

[vsquizz]

Al send $100.00 and a lock of hair (if there is any under the foily) and I will remove your curse.:D

You could also prey that the vaccum in her head collapses and then her G**s will fall out through her ****.:D :D

ROFL Cheers

[dazzler]

Hey

My grandmother was an evil gypsy women that sent shudders up my spine just seeing her.

She put curses on people and I know of two instances where she put death curses on people that quickly came true.

One was at the Rooty Hill RSL (fair dinkum) after some bloke started using her pokie machine and she put a curse on him and he fell down dead from a heart attack in the carpark.

You might be in luck though as she died a while ago....could have been her ghost I suppose after some shop fittings!

cheers

dazzler

[Daddles]

I thought being a member of this forum was a curse :confused:

Richard

[bitingmidge]

Al send $100.00 and a lock of hair (if there is any under the foily) and I will remove your curse.:D

Al,

I don't want to get into a discount war, but you could be getting dudded here, for $100, I'll remove the curse, give you a haircut on your next visit, turn your emus back into chickens, and send a formal complaint to the witches fraternity.

Magic Happens!
(I read that somewhere)

Cheers,

P (Who once had a fairy godfather, but he disappeared with flash of smoke and a "POOF!!!")
:D :D :D

[Iain]

A little sampling of appropriate curses:
1# May your ears turn into asreholes and ***** all over your shoulders.
2# May the hairs on your asre turn into bullwhips and beat the ***** out of you.
Invoice on way :D :D :D
auto edit whine, I used a ! not a i and there are only 4 * in that word not 5 :mad: :mad: :mad:

[RETIRED]

A little sampling of appropriate curses:
auto edit whine, I used a ! not a i and there are only 4 * in that word not 5 :mad: :mad: :mad:
Gee Whiz, Maybe some one has been adding more censor words? :p

Now who could that be? (insert maniacal laughter here)NyukNyuk

[Baz]

Al, surely you were wearing foil hat, if so her curse would have been bounced back onto herself, probably the first witch to have been foiled by Al.
Cheers
Barry

[Peter R]

Al's mate sounds like the woman that turned me to religion - I didn't know that hell existed before I met her.

Peter R.

I'm outta 'ere before someone starts puttin' *hits on me!!! (Meant to Pluralise)

Peter R

[vsquizz]

You know, usual sort of curse, hope your bits drop off, hope you go broke, pox on your family, run of the mill sort of curse.

Al :D
Welll.......Al....Have your bits dropped off yet???

Cheers

[Iain]

Just for you, cos we all love ya :p http://www.aurora-net.co.uk/witchcraft/aw1910.htm

[ozwinner]

Welll.......Al....Have your bits dropped off yet???

Cheers
I check my bits regularly, very regularly, ok, every chance I get.
And no, they havent dropped of as yet.
But Ill keep checking just to make sure.

Al :p

[bitingmidge]

But it's ok Al, you can let go of them sometimes!

Cheers,

P :D :D

[Cliff Rogers]

Sorry Al, they are out there.... I too have had the odd customer that has been too thick to understand that I wasn't going to sell them something that they didn't really want or need. :(

I've also had the odd customer that could NOT understand that (let alone why) I did not want them as a customer. :mad:

I'm getting better at telling them to 'F off' without upsetting them to the point that they want to put a curse on me or come back & kick my glass door in. ;)

All you can do is say "Thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve you, but I can't help you." "You can try {insert dreaded opposition name}" & "We are closed now... Goodbye."

I just LOVE sending sh(eye)ty customers to the opposition, it makes me feel HEAPS better. :D

[Iain]

Sounds like the Italian fishmonger:
I want some cod
I gotta no cod, whatta else you want
A pound of cod
I tella you lady, I gotta not cod, whatta else you need
Some cod please
Lady, how many a F in fish
One
How many a F in flathead
One
How many a F in cod
There is no F in cod
Thatsa whatta I beena tellin you.

[ozwinner]

Sorry Al, they are out there.... I too have had the odd customer that has been too thick to understand that I wasn't going to sell them something that they didn't really want or need. :(

I've also had the odd customer that could NOT understand that (let alone why) I did not want them as a customer. :mad:

I'm getting better at telling them to 'F off' without upsetting them to the point that they want to put a curse on me or come back & kick my glass door in. ;)

All you can do is say "Thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve you, but I can't help you." "You can try {insert dreaded opposition name}" & "We are closed now... Goodbye."

I just LOVE sending sh(eye)ty customers to the opposition, it makes me feel HEAPS better. :D

Yeah, dont forget we is new to all this retail stuff.
I just cant beleive how rude and obnoxious some ppl are.
I thought that everyone was kind and polite like what I is.
Its been a real eye opener. :eek:
The missus told me she had a realy rude person in today, he was argueing over $1.00, $1.00 can you beleive it?
Good job I wasnt there, I would have told him where to go in no uncertain terms. :mad:
He even had the cheek to say that he would never be back, ha, like we need knobs like that. :p

And I thought dealing with ppl in the building trade was bad enough..

Al :)

[echnidna]

Yeah, dont forget we is new to all this retail stuff.
I just cant beleive how rude and obnoxious some ppl are.
I thought that everyone was kind and polite like what I is.
Its been a real eye opener. :eek:
The missus told me she had a realy rude person in today, he was argueing over $1.00, $1.00 can you beleive it?
Good job I wasnt there, I would have told him where to go in no uncertain terms. :mad:
He even had the cheek to say that he would never be back, ha, like we need knobs like that. :p

And I thought dealing with ppl in the building trade was bad enough..

Al :)
I have been in retail & the building trades. The building trade are pussy cats compared to the retail weirdo's you get sometimes. But their dollars are worth the same as nice folks dollars. So I used to bite my tongue till I got their money.
Wholesaling to retailers is much easier as the store either wants it or doesn't, (but you need to count your fingers regularly.)

[Zed]

You may not beilve this, after all I am nice and polite to all and sundry. but yet i gets great satisfaction from telling ****wits to **** off! not that I do that sort of thing being the shy retirng wall flower I am, after all...

why just this morning I was telling my mate charlie that his squeeze Carmellllllia had a face like a ****ing prune. when he told me "you cant talk to me like this , "I AM TO BE KING and she is my moist betrothed" I said to him : "Charlie old mate, ****ing prunella (prunella being ****ing Carmellllia - of course - note the ****ing lower case...) is a ****ing dried up old ****ing inbred, you ****ing ***wit! if I was yer ****ing mum I'd tell ya to : "****ing F*** off!, we are not ****ing amused you will not ****ing have the ****ing royal we priveledge, except of course behind the ****ing corgi's"" (did I put enough quotation marks in there ???)

so, then, wheres the link I hear you ask ??? oz - you just keep on sticking by your guns - some people deserve to be told, nay they require it!

[craigb]

Carmellllllia had a face like a ****ing prune. !

No no no. I won't have it !

How dare you describe our future princess consort like that?

I am actually outraged young Zed.

She DOES NOT have a face like a ****ing prune, she actually has a face like a ****ing old boot!

[Rusty]

Not that I would EVER consort with the kind of WEIRDOS who believe in the occult, let alone anyone who CLAIMS to be an actual WITCH:rolleyes:....but I MAY have overheard something about whatever you send out into the universe returning to you threefold; this being one practical reason why most witches don't do curses. Allegedly.
Leaving aside the question of whether magic is "real" or not, at least you can take some satisfaction in the knowledge that any proper witches won't be letting your wannabe into their coven anytime soon. I mean, I assume they're called covens.
Is this making sense? It's been a long day. Have a good weekend. Me go lurk now.
Catch ya.
Rus.

[fxst]

Welcome to teh real world Al. Yep it happens but then you get the customer thats a pleasure to deal with and then you forget the knobs....well for a while anyhow
Pete

[Sir Stinkalot]

Yep it happens but then you get the customer thats a pleasure to deal with

That was me a few weeks ago at the craporium :)

[Cliff Rogers]

... ****wits to **** off! ....a face like a ****ing prune. ... ****ing prunella ...****ing Carmellllia ...****ing lower case... a ****ing dried up old ****ing inbred, you ****ing ***wit!...yer ****ing mum ...tell ya to : "****ing F*** off!, ...not ****ing amused ....not ****ing have the ****ing royal we priveledge,....the ****ing corgi's.......

& like Chas is the catch of a lifetime????? :rolleyes: